can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
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