Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
I just gift wrapped bread.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
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