U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
