Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
