Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
