hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
