Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
