I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
I woke up with a black eye and dim memories of announcing that i had super powers. I shoved my pockets full of canned tuna and tried to jump off the balcony. And then my boyfriend called the cops.
so you're not coming in to work today?
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
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