another moral hangover. fuck.
dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
Who did Billy Mays play for?
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
Randomize
