Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
