He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
