yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
