So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
Are these your boobs on my camera?
I woke up under a house in Key West
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