We won't sleep together?
You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
It's rum buckets o'clock
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
Randomize
