They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
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