I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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