the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
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