the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
