"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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