Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
Randomize