Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
