I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
Randomize
