sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Randomize
