I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Randomize
