I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Randomize