your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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