WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
Randomize
