Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
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