I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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