Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
Randomize