Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
They have beer where we have blood.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
