He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
I think I have vodka in my lungs
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
