don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
