Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
Come see our sink grown plant.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
Randomize
