i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
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