I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
Randomize
