I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Randomize
