my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
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