actually, I'm a sock model
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
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