is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
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