:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
Randomize
