help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
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