1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
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