I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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