maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
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