I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
Buhtt sex?
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
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