Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Randomize
