You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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