hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
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