She said her name was "party"
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
you mean i was at the winter classic?
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
