I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
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