I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
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