I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
