white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
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