No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
i dont even know how to be here
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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