I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
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