I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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