Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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