Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
Randomize
