I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
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