I just cut my nipple shaving
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
Randomize
