I bet he comes in French.
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
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