so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Randomize
