she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Randomize
