You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
Randomize
